Brendan's Birthday - October 10th

This time 3 years ago I was at Cox South in Springfield, MO patiently waiting for the contractions that I had been getting regularly since week 36 to turn into the full fledge labor ones. Brendan's due date was the 11th, but I decided to be induced a day early. So after celebrating Lindsey's birthday at Sequiota Park we headed to the hospital.

They never even had to start Pitocin, all I needed was a little nudge with Cervidil. Contractions got hard and heavy around 3am. I was handling those babies much better this time around. Breathing through them and probably could have made it no epidural this time. Buuuuuuut, I am not one of those females who needs to feel the excruciating pain of childbirth to feel the accomplishment of childbirth. I would recieve no certificate, no trophy, no award for "toughing it out." So, Bring on the medicine.

My water broke around 8:45am. About 5 minutes later I experienced one of the strangest sensations and confusing times of my life. All of the sudden I coughed. A little cough, but after that little cough I couldn't stop coughing. My head felt swollen and heavy and I was having a hard time breathing. I remember asking my mom to check my blood pressure and to call the nurse because I wasn't feeling well at all. After that, all was chaos.

I was barely getting any air. What air I was getting was mind over matter. All I could think of was when I was in labor with my daughter and not breathing through my contractions, the nurses telling me I MUST breathe because Lindsey's heartrate was going to low. So all I knew was that I had to breathe what little I could to keep Brendan's heartrate from doing the same thing. So as difficult as it was I kept breathing. I remember a couple times just wanting to shut my eyes and go to sleep.

Next thing I know, my Dr. was out of breath and next to my side. At that point some of the symptoms had subsided, I was able to breathe easier. My head still felt really strange, but I was able to breathe. So we got to work, pushed Brendan out in like 10 minutes and he was fine. I was fine. Everything was ok. 8:59am Brendan was born a healthy 7 lbs 13 oz. 21 inches long.

I still don't know for sure what happened, but my Dr. thinks I had a small amount of amniotic fluid enter my blood stream when my water broke. This can be devestating at the least and fatal at the most. Most women do not make it out of an Amniotic Embolism without having been in a coma or worse... dead. I was atypical, as I just got a little freaked out. Brendan's vitals went waaaaaay down, and my blood oxygen got dangerously low, but for some reason I made it out with no side effect to speak of except for a pretty pounding headache that went away after a while.

The hardest part was hearing time and time again from nurse after nurse that I shouldn't be laying there doing as well as I was. I was like a freak of nature to them all. An Amniotic Embolism is very much like any other sort of embolism... like pulmanary embolims, people don't just walk away from those sort of things.

I had my baby Brendan though... and fell in love. No depression this time. I was more prepared having been there done that. He was perfect. He inherited his momma's blonde hair that will turn brown as he get's into his late childhood. I loved that. A blonde. His skin was beautiful. His eyes big and round. That was my Brendan Ryan.

At three he is mischief and mayhem all rolled up in a sugary sweet coating, making it possible for him to charm his way out of a lot of things. He is a lot like me in personality which can be good and bad. Because of our likeness, I worry that we will be at odds a lot but for now, he has a way of tugging at my heart and breaking it, when I should be angry at him for something. My little charmer. I love him so.

Happy Birthday to my Bubba, Bren, Brendominator, Bubbnator, Bubballigator, Bren Bren, Brendan. Enjoy being three.